The Pater: My Father, My Judaism, My Childlessness, by Elliot Jager
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The Pater: My Father, My Judaism, My Childlessness, by Elliot Jager
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Elliot Jager was eight when his father walked out on him and his mother. Decades later, struggling to reconcile with his now elderly Pater, he discovers he can never be a father himself. Feeling doubly betrayed, by the earthly father who abandoned him and the one in Heaven who denies him, Jager sets out to discover the meaning of life without children. Talking to other men – single and married, gay and straight – who share his plight, he explores the stigmas of the Jewish community towards the childless, the sense of helplessness and failure that comes with infertility, and the existential battle to fill the void. Brave, poignant, and uncompromisingly honest, The Pater tells the hitherto untold story of the childless Jewish man.
The Pater: My Father, My Judaism, My Childlessness, by Elliot Jager- Amazon Sales Rank: #988471 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-11-03
- Released on: 2015-11-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
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Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. The Blank In The Photo Album By E. M. Foner (SciFi Author) Elliot Jager has pulled off the impossible, writing a book about childlessness that isn’t depressing. He does the trick by mixing in a good deal of his own story, and the stories of other childless families.The starring figure of the book is not the author himself, but the eponymous Pater of the title, who abandoned his family when the author was eight to search for a holier life than he could find on the lower east side of Manhattan. When the author as a middle-aged man begins a relationship with his father, the Pater’s main concern is that his son bear fruit, ideally a son to say Kaddish.Jager and his wife, while no strangers to prayer, put their faith in IVF procedures at a top hospital (spoiler alert) which fails to deliver the goods. The Pater wants the author puts his faith in miracle workers, but this too is not to be. Jager interviews childless men who do put their faith in miracles on one sort or another, but for most, rationalization offers the best cure.I read this book in one sitting, despite knowing how it must turn out, because I still wanted to know how the story ended. And (spoiler alert), the story does have a happy ending, at least compared with the saga of the Pater’s childhood.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful. A haunting reading experience By Fern Elliot Jager's Pater is much more than an autobiographical invitation to empathize with his condition of childlessness. He achieves much more. With wisdom, wit, and utter candor he carries us forward on his personal journey as a single child, abandoned by his father, agonizing over his situation as a childless adult. He explores the psychological, sociological, and theological fallout of his predicament, challenging his religious tradition and God-as-Father to provide guidance, if not comforting answers. The result is a book that arouses deeply our thinking and feeling about all issues concerning family, parents, children, and our humanity.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. I highly recommend this book to others By MJG As a mother of four children, it was with a bit of trepidation that I picked up Mr. Jaeger’s book “The Pater”. However by way of his engaging and sometimes witty narration-- he gently takes his reader through his journey from a fatherless child to a childless man. Society is naturally compassionate to the spiritual void of the childless woman whilst equally the grief and sorrow men experience often goes unaddressed.I praise the author’s poignant courage in sharing his experience and I hope this book will give comfort and encouragement to other men struggling with these very real feelings. I highly recommend this book to others.
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